: My thoughts..

Hey guys.. I'm kinda in a confusing mode these few days.
It's about something at school, it started off like this:

A day before school started, I was asked to stayback the following day. I was told too. I was curious about it, curious whether is there anything important things which have to do with me on the first day.  My friend informed me about this. He told me that teacher is wanting me to enter PSS.  Felt kinda weird at first.

Went to school on the first day, met a Cengal friend and she also told me that Pn.Nurlina asked me to stayback for that day. Curious also, and she even asked me that if I voluntered to be a PSS. Something's going on.. I didn't stayed back that day.  I texted teacher and told her that I can't stayback for that day, and she told me to stayback on Friday.
First day, I wasn't chosen as class monitor anymore but just an ajk for keceriaan.  I was kinda confused back then, people asked me whether I wanna be a ketua kelas again.  Confused, I didn't know what to say at that time but.. my friends said it for me.  They said that I'm having to much pressure and so so.. So, I just go on with it.
That's how it is..

But today, our class teacher came in on the first and second period.  Suddenly, my ketua kelas told teacher that he was going to be a pengawas. So, he dropped out of his position as a class monitor. And, Jonathan as the penolong gave it a go as the class monitor.  I was replaced as the penolong at the mean time.  Teacher asked whether if I'm okay with it, I nodded..

Later, it was english lesson.. Pn.Nurlina came in, she taught us as usual.. But suddenly she said about being a PSS, and she said that she wanted me to join the PSS.  And, she knew that I was a penolong already.  She asked whether I don't wanna become a penolong.  I nodded my head. Oh why? >__<
Why did I did that? I'm sure everyone's curious and some would even think that I'm nuts.. or even say things about me. I don't know.
I couldn't think at that time. Confused, brain malfunctioning. But, teacher's asking, I have to respect her by giving an answer.  So, that's why i nodded..

I guess I somehow missed being a ketua kelas.. haha XD
It feels so empty sometimes..
But, well at least I'm still penolong.
Glad to serve 5 Jati 2013, sorry for making you guys so confused as well.

I have made up my mind, no regrets.
I don't wanna let staybacks interrupt me this time unless it's really really urgent or important.
I wanna study well this time, don't wanna let anything stop in my way.  My marks last year was super horrible and I even got out of the 10s and ngam ngam into 20th place. Half of the class.. Feels so bad and dissapointed right now, somehow I think it's the eco project I've joined.  But, people say you shouldn't blame anything but blaming yourself.  Yes, I do agree. I couldn't manage my time well.

Sorry teacher, thanks for your offer but I have to reject your offer.
I prefer it just normal like this. Sorry to say..

Thanks and Sorry :)